Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Ok, so I know this is just a little bit early, but let me tell you why today is a day of thanksgiving for me. Today is the one year anniversary of an event that forever changed my life. One year ago I was held and gunpoint and feared for my life. One year ago I had nothing to cling to but my faith in God, in Jesus who is my Lord and Savior. One year ago I called upon the Name of the Lord and He rescued me!!! Isn't that amazing!!!!!! I find it hard to even put into words.

As I sit here at the computer my heart is so full, I have tears in my eyes, and I can't express everything that is going on in my head and my heart. I am certainly giving thanks for my life on this earth being preserved, but I am even more blown away with the fact that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God heard my prayers and He answered them in a very big way.

As I have reflected back on this experience I realize that it is probably the closest I have ever been to God. Never has He seemed so real to me as He did in those terrifying moments. I am also giving thanks for the healing that He brought about in my life in the past year. I have not had to live my life with a shadow of fear hanging over me.

Each time I think about what happened, or tell someone the story, God's mercy and blessing to me seem to get bigger and bigger. And at the same time my faith grows with each telling of the story. Kind of like those fish stories where the fish that was caught gets bigger each time its told. Only in this case I really am seeing more of God and the bigness and vastness of His love for me.

update on Lebahati

Almost two years ago I wrote a post about a little boy from a Maasai village who has hydrocephalus. I had traveled with the family and the project social worker to one of the hospitals in the area so he could see a specialist. During that time I developed a connection to Lebahati and his mother and I've tried to make visits to their home whenever I had the opportunity since then.

The update on his condition is that it has stabilized. By the time they made it to Dar es Salaam to a more specialized hospital they were told that there was no need for any intervention. His head will always remain larger than normal but he was not in danger of the condition worsening. He was somewhere between 3 and 4 years old at that time and not yet walking due to the larger-than-normal weight of his head. Now he is somewhere between 5 and 6 (no one really keeps track of these things out in the bush) and has learned to walk all by himself. Well, part of the motivation to walk is because Mom has a new baby and he can no longer ride on her back, but it is still quite a large accomplishment for him to walk independently.

I visited their home last week and was greeted by Lebahati walking up to me with a big smile on his face. He used to shy away from me, probably because he associated me with the trip to the hospital. His mom still teases him and asks him if he's ready to go with me to the hospital again, but this time he was all smiles. He even said later that I could take his baby sister if I wanted (I don't think he liked being usurped as the baby of the family). In the end I did not take the baby sister (who's name means "Of Jesus"), even though it was tempting, she's pretty cute. But I did leave with a great deal of joy! What a blessing it was to see this little boy growing and developing, playing with friends and having a more normal life.

some of my temporary roommates

my little friends Neema and Bryson who have both been residents at my house for different periods of time

simple pleasures

Some of you may know that I've been trying to live a gluten and dairy-free life for the past few years. As much of a challenge as that is in America, it has been much more of a challenge living in Tanzania. I've found some ways to adapt and adjust my diet, but the most difficult thing for me has been that I have to cook and bake so much of what I eat. There are not many "convenience foods" available for me so I have to make it all myself.

Not too long ago I bought a used stand mixer (like the Kitchen-Aid mixer that is common in America) from a missionary family who was moving back to New Zealand. This has made my life SO MUCH EASIER! Baking is no longer as time consuming for me and requires less of my own elbow grease. I even ventured into the world of gluten-free sandwich bread, and the results were amazing! I couldn't even believe how good the bread was when it came out of the oven. I would even say that its better than some wheat breads I've had in the past. I'm including a picture here so you too can be amazed!

Looks good, doesn't it? Hard to believe its gluten-free.

I've also recently found someone who makes yogurt and cheese from goat milk. That's pretty exciting in my world!

These little things have made such a big difference to me in the past few weeks. I'm so glad that God cares about these little details in my life too.

Maasai in America!

There is a group of Maasai from Tanzania singing their way across the southern United States, led by some of my friends from Arusha.  Check out their site and see if they will be anywhere near you, and then go see them.  It will definitely be worth your time!  Also check out the blog chronicling their day to day activities . . . including trips to Wal-Mart and Texas long horns!  Its pretty good stuff.  

Last week I was with a team from Perimeter church visiting people who are living with HIV/AIDS.  One of the families we visited was a single mom with two children.  She and her youngest child, a little boy about 6 years old, are both HIV+.  We really enjoyed the time spent with this beautiful family, and especially to spend time with this rambunctious, energetic little boy.  At one point he started to pretend he was taking our pictures with his imaginary camera so Claudia (one of the visitors from Perimeter) and I both let him take a turn actually taking pictures with our cameras.  He loved it and we could hardly pry our cameras out of his hands when it was time to go!  Towards the end of our visit we asked each family member what they wanted us to pray for.  The daughter, about 12 years old, wanted to pray for a father to be in her life.  This, of course, caused all of our hearts to break.  The mother asked that we pray for provision for her children to be able to continue going to school.  This is the most common thing HIV+ parents pray for, when they look to the future there are often many questions as to how their children will be provided for.  Again, heart-breaking.  Then the little boy wanted to ask God for food, specifically rice and meat.  After spending some time in prayer for this family we had the privilege of presenting the family with a 10kg bag of rice, along with a few other food items.  The little boy was allowed to open the bag to see what was in it.  It was such a blessing to us to witness this little boy see God answer his prayer so quickly.  He was so tickled!  The rice and other food will last only a few days or weeks, but the faith and hope that they (and we) gained from this experience will last much longer.  I hope that this will encourage all of us to continue to bring all requests, big and small, to the Lord and continue to trust in Him for all of our needs. 

one of his masterpieces

figuring out what all the buttons do . . . should Claudia be worried?

this smile did not leave his face during out entire visit

opening the bag of rice

Please pray for this family and so many others who are affected by HIV.  The need is great but I know we serve a greater God.  

This made my day yesterday!

So what would you do if you had to work outside on a cold day and you had a warm, fuzzy, matching coat and hat in your closet?  You would wear it of course!

I spent the last few weeks working on preparations for teams and then hanging out with two great teams from Perimeter Church and Scottsdale Bible Church.  Both teams were here earlier this month to partner with Imara in the community development (or rather, community transformation) work that is going on in Northern Tanzania.  I had a lot of fun with both groups, and, of course, took lots of pictures.  I got to be part of ministry to widows (by planting gardens and building goat pens), ministry to children who are sponsored by individuals at both churches, and enjoyed interacting with so many of the wonderful people who live in these two communities.  I also got to see some amazing scenery!  

Click here to see some new photos.

here's a little song to brighten your day . . . 

there's no place like home

I've been home for just over a month now, and what a full time it has been!  I have been so blessed to get to see many of you.  In addition to celebrating Christmas with family in Tennessee, North Carolina and Georgia (yes, we have a large extended family), I spent New Year's Eve with some very dear friends in South Carolina, and then my birthday with my family back in NC.  In the meantime I've made a few trips to Atlanta to catch up with friends and supporters, go to the dentist, and see a good friend get married.  Besides all the merriment I have loved being able to just enjoy the comforts of home - hot water from the tap, home cooked meals, trips to Target . . .the list could go on and on.

About a week and a half ago I was at Perimeter Church for a time of sharing what I have been doing in Tanzania.  I was so encouraged by how many of you came to show your support.  Thank you!  

me, my brother and sister at Christmas

playing with Kerith 

ask and you shall receive

Since the robbery that occurred less than two weeks ago people have been praying for me in lots of different ways . . . that I would be able to sleep, that I wouldn't be overwhelmed with feelings of fear, that my stolen items would somehow be restored to me . . . Those first two things have definitely been answered in a very real way. I have still managed to get 7-8 hours of good sleep each night without interruptions of nightmares or flashbacks. I have also felt any feelings of fear subside each day to the point that I really don't feel them at all anymore (although I am still more jumpy than normal, so don't sneak up behind me as a joke and expect to get a laugh out of me). And now even that third thing people have been praying for has been answered as well!

A few days ago I received an email that gave me a bit of a shock, it was from the person who was at that time in possession of my computer. I had to read it several times and have other people read it as well before I could actually comprehend what it was saying. It was from a man who wondered if the used mac he recently bought had been stolen. When he started to use it he discovered all of my personal documents and photographs. He realized that someone who intended to sell a computer would not have left these things on the hard drive. He searched for an email address and contacted me. I don't know how many hands it passed through before this man bought it but I know that God put it in the hands of this honest man.

After emailing back a forth a few times with this man and getting lots of advice from people I trusted, I felt that he was trustworthy and arranged a meeting. It was strange to have the computer in my hands again. I looked quickly over the files and it looks like nothing has been deleted or lost! What an answer to prayer! The things that were irreplaceable (most importantly, the thousands of photos that I have taken of this past year) have now been restored to me. Its still hard for me to comprehend at times, I have to pinch myself and remind myself that it really is true!

We still have not come to a final arrangement of how I can compensate him for his kind and courageous act, but the important thing is that I have my files, photos, music (everything!) back in my possession and already backed up on an external hard drive. The rest will fall into place.

much to give thanks for . . .

This is an entry I never thought I would write, nor would ever want to have to write. Some of you reading this may have already heard the news through a prayer chain or email. I wanted to post something here to let anyone else know and also, selfishly, to have as many people praying for me as I possibly can.

This past Friday evening my roommate Meagan and I were at home when five armed men broke into the house around 8:30. They threatened us, demanded money (which we didn't have much of anyway), took all of our electronics, camera, etc and then locked us in a bedroom as they went through the rest of the house to find anything else they might want to take. Once we were sure that they had gone we went to the neighbors to get help, made a report with the police and eventually went to the home of trusted friends who welcomed us in like we were their own family.

While this was certainly a terrifying experience there are many things I can be thankful for:

• First and foremost is the fact that we were not physically harmed in any way. It is clearly a miracle of God that we were not injured.
  
• I initially thought that they had taken my passport and knowing that I have a ticket to fly home on December 8th I was worried that I would have to delay my trip home as I went through the process of getting a new passport. The next morning when we went back to the house to gather some of our things I found my passport! It was not in the place where I normally kept it and was therefore safe and sound sitting under a basket on top of the dresser.
• Even though my phone was taken, Meagan had accidentally left hers at the office that day, so once we were able to get to the office we were able to get in contact with everyone that we needed. (This age of cell phones has caused me to neglect committing any phone numbers to memory)
• We knew that we had a safe place to go and felt comfortable calling our friends at 11:30pm to come and pick us up (it was pretty late by the time we finished the reports with the police and got to Meagan's phone)
• We have both been so well loved and cared for by the Body of Christ here in Arusha and from our home communities in America
• I have been able to sleep very well the past 2 nights and have not had any bad dreams
• So many people who have been praying
  

I know that my list will continue to grow as I continue to go through the process of healing from this horrible event.

I wanted you all to know what had happened, but most importantly to know that I am safe and unharmed. Please do continue to pray for me and Meagan as we deal with the feelings and emotions that come along with an experience like this. We are also praying that somehow the things that were stolen would be restored to us. I know it would take a miracle but its nothing God can't handle!

is this not one of the cutest faces you've ever seen?!

ambient noise

I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to hear the voice of God speak directly to me.  To date I haven't heard a voice booming from heaven to tell me exactly what to do, maybe one day . . .   However, I'm glad that communication with God is not limited to audible tones.  There are many ways that God communicates with us.  Some ways are through reading His Word in the Bible, through prayer or silent meditation, and sometimes through the words of a trusted friend or mentor.  In my journey on this earth I have started to learn how to "listen" to God speaking to me in one way or another (by the way, I still have a long way to go!). One way that I did not expect to hear from God was through my neighbor's radio.  Now, to help you understand what I mean by neighbor I feel obliged to tell you that the window above the head of my bed is only a few feet (maybe 5 at the most) from the 10 foot wall which surrounds our house and yard.  One of our neighbors lives literally just on the other side of that wall, so there is only 5 feet separating my window and their house.  I have learned to sleep through most of the noises I hear (like the cow asking to be milked early in the morning, the baby crying, or early morning conversations) but I continue to be wakened to the sound of their radio on most Saturday and Sunday mornings (why they don't turn it on during the week I don't know).  If there was consistency in what I heard I might have learned to block that out as well, but I've heard everything from a Tanzanian church choir singing local songs to Ryan Seacrest hosting AT 40 to a Swahili-singing Patsy Cline wannabe, so I really never know what to expect.  This past Sunday morning I was treated to a beautiful rendition of "He Leadeth Me" in English.  I have not heard this hymn in many years but it is one that I have sung so many times and the words are etched in my memory.  Even just to hear that familiar old song was comforting to me in a way.  But that morning it was also a great reminder that God is the one who is leading me.  I just need to know how to listen.  God knew that for me to hear that song at the exact time I did, that it would be not only a comfort but also a confirmation of His promises and plan for me.  Sometimes its hard to block out all the distractions keeping me from hearing His voice but when I do there is such a sense of peace that comes along with it, a peace that cannot be explained in words but one that I feel in the depth of my being.  Philippians 4:7

 this sunrise reminded me of another old hymn (which is my Grandmother's favorite) "Morning Has Broken"

lessons learned

• traffic jams in Atlanta are nothing compared to traffic jams in Nairobi
  
• Toyota makes parts of their radiators out of plastic!
  
• a hole in a radiator can be temporarily patched using only a bar of soap
  
• there is nothing too big to go on the back (or front) of a bicycle
  
• pedestrians don't often pay attention to the car traffic around them
  
• some bus drivers think they own the road (both sides!)
  
• sometimes the police will stop drivers just to see where they are going (maybe its so they can ask for a ride, who knows?)
  
• it's ok to let your heart rule over your head
  
• God cares about the smallest details of my life

i can't believe this is where i live!

sadly i don't get to see this everyday but it sure was beautiful last week!

2 posts in one day!

Since I haven't posted in a while, I figured I'd try to make up for lost time.  

Well, actually I just had a lot of great experiences in the last two days and wanted to share a couple of them with you.  

Yesterday I had what may be one of my favorite moments since moving to Tanzania.  I visited an HIV+ client in a rural area around Kilimanjaro and the late afternoon light made the inside of the small mud house even darker.  As we finished the visit and began to file out of the house there was an elderly woman standing in the outer room and greeted us each as we walked by.  I was the last one to walk through and I greeted her with the standard Swahili greeting for an older person.  She started to speak but then did a double take as she pulled me closer to the light coming from the front door and with genuine surprise said “wewe ni mzungu!” (you are a white person).  She couldn’t believe that there was a white person in her house and she didn’t even know it (unlike the children who had gathered outside the small window to peer in and look at the white woman).   Then she said in English “Good morning, how are you?” (a phrase she may have learned from her grandchildren)  She was so tickled to have a white person at her house and even asked me to stay and sleep over for the night.  With my hand in hers and, still in a bit of shock, she went on and on talking about the “mzungu” at her house.  She walked back to the vehicle with us, still holding my hand, and invited me back again.  

I hope that I can take her up on it one day.  

hospital visit

I went to the hospital today.  

Don’t worry, not to be treated, but to visit someone.
This hospital was in Marangu, a town literally at the base of Mt Kilimanjaro frequented by tourists planning to climb. It is a beautiful, lush area, especially now during the rainy season. Everything is very green, many trees and flowers are in bloom, and numerous fields are full of maize 6 feet high.

As soon as I walked into the hospital I commented on how clean and well maintained it was. As we entered the different wards I also noticed how empty it was, which seemed very strange to me. I was informed that the hospitals in the rural areas are often not full. However, during holidays, when people in the cities return to their traditional homes, the hospitals are much busier.

The purpose of our (Imara staff and local volunteer) visit was to see a HIV+ client we had hoped to visit in his home. He had recently been treated for malaria but was readmitted to the hospital for continued problems of fever and vomiting. As we entered the ward I saw him on the far side of the room in the bed against the window. I knew it was him because the other 5 beds were empty and he was the only patient in the big room. Although at first glance you might not have even known that a person was there. He was curled up in such a tiny ball with his head tucked under the sheet that you might have thought there was a pile of sheets sitting on the bed instead of a grown man.

As we walked up to the bedside I could see vomit on the floor and couldn’t help but note the strong smell of urine in the air. And, it soon became clear why this man had tucked himself so tightly in the sheet, he was cold! It was also apparent, even with the sheet on top of him, that he couldn’t weigh more than about 70 pounds.

During the past 5 years I have spent a lot of time in hospitals. It has become a bit of a comfort zone for me, it’s a place where I feel like I have some control over certain things and it’s where I’m empowered to do certain things as a nurse. Today I felt like I was so far from my comfort zone I really didn’t know what to do with myself. My heart broke for this man lying in the bed in front of me on sheets too small for the bed and wearing a shirt that used to be white and crisp many years ago. I wanted to do nothing more than bathe him, make his bed using fresh clean sheets and do whatever else I would normally do to make a patient in his condition more comfortable. I started to cry when I saw his condition and realized there was nothing I could do for him. I was definitely not in my comfort zone!

There were no staff members around because they apparently take breaks during visiting hours since friends and family members will be present to attend to the patients’ needs. But what about the patients who don’t have visitors coming to see them? Who will empty a bedpan or clean the face of a man who has vomited if he doesn’t have a devoted wife or child at his bedside? I started to get angry.  The answers I received in response to my questions only made me more angry.  

But then I saw something beautiful. I saw this volunteer, a man in his 30’s whose face literally shows the scars of a hard life, a man who looks like he’s trying to maintain a certain image (the "I wear my sunglasses at night" sort of image). I saw this man empty the bedpan which was sitting under the bed (which I didn’t even see and wouldn’t have known where to empty it if I had). I saw him hunt down a blanket from the seemingly nonexistent staff and cover the man as he spoke gently and compassionately to him. And I was even a little tickled to see him teach the patient how to hold his hand and wrist to ensure that the IV fluids continued to flow through the IV in his wrist. 

It was clear that this volunteer cared a great deal for the man in the hospital bed. This encouraged me more than you can imagine. Not only because this particular man was comforted but because this volunteer represents so many others who have been trained as community care givers. People with AIDS are being loved and cared for! This made my heart swell. We all prayed for this man before we left and I walked out with a renewed sense of hope.

Quite a range of emotions in a span of 20 minutes.

kili in the clouds

Here ya go John, Kilimanjaro from Arusha National Park

my new career

Well, I’ve found my fallback career.  If the nurse thing doesn’t work out in the future, I think I may try being a safari driver.  

Ok, not really.  But I did it for a day and it was pretty fun.  Arusha National Park is about 30 minutes from my house and has a lot of game viewing opportunities as well as hiking safaris.  This past Saturday my roommates and I, along with an out of town guest, decided to go hiking on part of Mt Meru in Arusha Nat’l Park.  The only problem was that the hike we wanted to do required a 4x4 vehicle, with capabilities beyond what our little RAV4 could offer, to get to the starting point of the hike.  So we borrowed a Land Cruiser and were off for a fun day of hiking.  I ended up in the driver’s seat and found that I really quite enjoyed myself.  Once we got into the park and made our way to the ranger station to pick up our armed guide/guard to hike with us (a requirement for hiking in this particular area where wildlife is present) the sky started to look a little grey.  We were not deterred.  After crossing a small river and engaging the 4 wheel drive for the first time we made the ascent up the winding dirt road to the starting point of the hike.  Just about the time we reached our destination the skies opened up.  After deciding that waiting it out was not the best option we very slowly made the descent down the steep, winding dirt road along with the water that was now rushing down the mountain.  We made it safely to the bottom about the same time the rain lightened up.  We spent the rest of the afternoon driving around the park looking for wildlife and got a great view of Kilimanjaro as the clouds broke.  So the day wasn’t a complete bust, and I got some good 4x4 experience!  

We'll give it another shot on another day, maybe after the rainy season passes . . .